#i just still cannot help but feel like it's not enough
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To able-bodied people, also: in those instances where you are careful (you are never as careful as you think you're being, btw; you cannot judge a disabled body off of your own experiences) that doesn't remove the social factors either.
I am a disabled woman who uses canes, and (pulling from a collection of similar memories for this post) it is horrifically embarrassing to be bodily picked up in the middle of Walmart just because you, a stranger, can't A) wait the 10 seconds it would take for me to get off the floor after an unexpected slip, and/or B) don't have the common sense to hand me my canes when they fall too far away from me to easily retrieve.
You have just embarrassed me public by treating me like a toddler, and made this impossible to escape from because you picked me up, instead of the canes 2 feet away that would've helped me stand in the first place. Your actions made me dependent on you, a stranger, and made us both dependent on some other stranger to pass me my mobility aids. You turned a 10-second tumble into an ordeal lasting 30/45 seconds, as everyone around us scrambles to do what they can (except me, suspended in your grip, helpless). You caused me embarrassment and infantalized me.
And any able-bodied person would protest that kind of thing, besides. They would reject the suddenness of a taller, stronger stranger pressed up against them from behind, unfamiliar arms around their waist to deliberately hold them close. It would be a production; you would be seen as a thief or pervert, grabbing and holding someone you don't know; meanwhile, your target would step away and rant and snarl to keep you at arms length, at best. I deserve the right to be just as furious. Moreso, even, because you've taken away my ability choose to walk away from you (because, and this is the frustrating part, 9/10 times in these situations, you don't let go even when I get enough breath back to say, "Please put me down," because you see the canes being carried back by then, and assume it's just easier to keep me "on my feet" for 5 more seconds instead of putting me back on the floor like I'm asking you to do). You have caused me rage and made my choices mean less than yours.
(Instead, you walk away a minute later, feeling proud of yourself for helping someone "in need". And I stumble off, still contending with the experience of another stranger who won't let me go.)
((PSA: It would have been five times better, even if every other part of this was the same, if you just asked me first. At least then, it would have been my choice to participate in your comedy of errors... even if I am more likely, every time, to say, "No thank you."))
Able-bodied people: Please listen. I hate the above scenario... but it keeps happening anyway. Don't be the stranger who doesn't listen. If you witness it, as OP says: call it out. The people prone to this don't listen to us about our disabled bodies, but they might listen to you if you back us and our justified anger up.)
For Able-Bodied People
Repeat after me:
“If I touch a disabled person without consent, they are entitled to their anger.
If I grab a disabled person’s mobility aid without consent, they are entitled to their anger.
If I refuse to consult with a disabled person about their body, they are entitled to their anger.
If I do any of these things, regardless of if I’m trying to do the right thing, I am an asshole.”
I’m sick and bloody tired of people grabbing me, and then people glaring at me like I’m the asshole in the situation; when your spine and your mobility is at stake, we’ll fucking talk.
Able-bodied people, you should be reblogging this.
You should be calling it out when it happens.
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What if... Batsis with a oral fixation ⁉️
Not in a kinky way but like a stimming way, I have autism irl and I chew and bite on stuff to help get some feelings I'm not a fan of :P
Also I bite people I trust cuz Ik they won't mind or rlly judge me for it so what if batsis bites Grayson cuz she trusts him or somethin 🤯⁉️
A/N: So babes...i'm sorry this took a while. I was out of it for a while...I cannot stop biting my loved ones either...it's rough out here, really.
Characters: Dick, Tim, and Jason
Masterlist
Requests: always open
Dick wouldn't really mind it, I don't think?
Maybe at first he's like..."what ya got there..?" and it's just a whole chunk of his arm in your mouth.
He has a look of both concern and amusement on his face because well...this is a first.. But if he's aware of your usual oral stims and how you are constantly chewing or biting at something, I think he wouldn't question it further. It's easy to put two and two together, y'know.
But the fact that you only do it to him and maybe to the other siblings is enough for him to be okay with it. It makes Dick feel extremely special and dare I say honored to be a human chew toy. Dick adores anything that you do, especially if that thing is specifically because you trust him.
I think it'd be super cute having you hold onto his arm while ya'll are chilling on the couch. Maybe watching a scary movie, and because you're getting stressed so the entire time you are just gnawing on his bicep...poor guy. Lol but he actually doesn't even notice it after a while of you constantly doing it.
Like he's chatting with Babs and here comes your evil little teeth all ready to sink into his skin.
The only time I think he's be against it if he's super sweaty and gross or is trying to concentrate on something important....otherwise,,go ham.
But would I be crazy if I say his hair when it's long is perfectly chew-able.... like pleassseeeeee rachellll give it to meeee
I can imagine him giving you some of his bracelets to chew on. I imagine he wears these string bracelets and they are perfect chewing material.
*you have almost bit his entire finger off...*
Jason would be a bit turned off from it.
He's not particularly keen on you biting him. It doesn't feel good, it maybe even a bit irritating or stressful for him. This is not to say he thinks that your fixation needs to go but he'd rather you do it to anyone else instead.
Maybe he'll give you one of his old jackets for you to chew on. it's perfect, he got it cleaned and it has tons of tabs and buckles for you to chew. That way you can still have something of his to fixate on without necessarily bothering him. It does kind of warms his heart when you choose his items to stim with tho. It's assuring that he's still able to help ground you even if it's in a different way....
Tim..does not care. Like the most he does is just give you a strange look, then goes back to whatever he was doing prior.
You aren't hurting him, nor is he irritated so who is he to force you to stop. It's clear that you are overwhelmed and needs something that'll help you make it through soo have fun, sis.
He never directly addresses it either. It's just a thing that he accepts.
Maybe if you are chewing on the him of his shirt and your saliva is causing it to get rather wet and slightly uncomfortable, he'll just go change the shirt and give it to continue doing your stimming with.
I feel like Tim just had random chew-able trinkets around his room too, maybe even keeps tough gummies or lollipops around as an alternative for you.
#headcanon#imagines#oneshot#yandere imagines#x reader#headcannons#fanfic#yandere headcanons#dc comics#dick grayson x reader#jason todd x reader#tim drake x reader#yandere family#platonic yandere#yandere batman#batbros#batsis!reader#batfam x batsis#yandere dick grayson#yandere nightwing#yandere red hood#yandere red robin#dcu#dark batfamily#dc imagine#headcanons
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my mouthwashing good ending headcanons:
on the tulpar:
1. anya tells swansea and daisuke about the assault pretty much immediatelly after the crash. the crew seals jimmy in his room with insulation foam until they get rescued.
( i was thinking about letting the crew kill j*mmy, however. he doesnt deserve that mercy. so he lives and is jailed forever. )
2. the crew dont know what to do about the baby. anya doesnt want to use pills for diy abortion, mainly because thats what jimbo told her to do and she doesnt want to listen to him.
in a dangerous twist of fate, she miscarries, because of stress and low bodyweight. its not a dramatic miscarriage, the fetus just dies in the uterus. anya suspects she miscarried, but doesnt tell the crew so they dont worry about her.
3. the crew gets rescued just in time- anya was on the verge of dying from the infection that started festering inside her from the miscarriage.
immediately after rescue:
anya and curly are rushed to the hospital. they got treatment on the rescue ship already, but that was only the bare minimum. pony express pays only for the bare minimum treatments.
curly is hooked up to a sci-fi mind reading communication device. its not perfect, but they manage to find out what happened. jimmy is arrested.
swansea:
after losing his job and breaking his dry streak, hes surprisingly okay. using his severance pay and his savings, he opens a small business, becoming a freelance electrician.
he doesnt drink as much as he used to, but he drinks regularly. he still buys himself sneakers on his soberversary though.
daisuke didnt even have to beg him too hard to be accepted as his apprentice, really.
daisuke becomes his other child, basically, he visits daisuke and regularly treats the him and the crew to meals, just like he does with his bio kids.
he also takes daisuke thrifting sometimes, judging his outfits on a scale of 1-10.
daisuke:
hes back to living with his parents.
daisuke really wanted to continue being swanseas apprentice, not just because he liked swansea, but because he really wanted to feel useful somehow.
he doesnt really vibe with most swanseas kids, but hes polite everytime they visit the shop where he helps swansea.
him and anya do gaming nights, often hopping on discord call in the late evening.
he still struggles with impostor syndrome, feeling like he didnt do enough for the crew of the tulpar.
curly:
he struggles with his mental health extensively. hes traumatized by being forced into being a bystander and his new disability keeps reminding him of that fact. his old crew encourages him to keep going though, and daisukes family pays for his therapy sessions.
he underwent many surgeries, mainly skin transplants (he still looks. uncanny though), rhinoplasty (more like. he just got a whole new nose altogether) and added eyelids (made his eye look smaller than before) and lips.
while this IS the Future, many of the cool 'solutions' to his disability are too expensive. pony express only paid for curlys wheelchair with a communicator and a cheap pair of prosthetic arms. the motor abilites of these arms are limited, as he cannot even write with them. theyre purely there just so he can operate his wheelchair by himself.
he wants to save money to buy new legs and arms, mostly just because he'd love to get back into weightlifting again.
after being fired, he mostly relies on disability pay and benefits.
he dropped many of his old friends, because they sympathised with jimmy, but he still has a close knit group of friends, with whom he lives.
he wanted to quit being a pilot long before the crash, and his old crew convinced him that he should pursue something new, to help him move on.
with the financial support of daisukes parents (daisuke begged them), curly enrolls in med school. he chose a proffession where he would help people.
thanks to this he grew even closer to anya.
anya:
tried to distance herself from the crew, because she felt like dead weight, but they didnt let her. daisuke talked her and curly into therapy.
she couldnt afford to try to get into med school again, and even then, she wasnt sure if she even wanted to do that anymore.
but, due to his disability, curly needed a notetaker and, well. the stars just aligned.
being his notetaker, anya gets to attend all the lectures with curly, helping him with his studies while she absorbs all the knowledge. this gave her the confidence she needed to decide to try again, sometine in the future.
asides from this, anya took up running again. she runs regularly, planning to run a marathon one day. she also gained a lot of weight after coming back, resulting in a mean bulk, gaining quite a lot of muscle.
sometimes she runs together with curly and daisuke, and curly also coaches anya in the gym on occassion.
the whole crew regularly meet up for brunches and birthdays. :)
#mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#captain curly#curly mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing
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Kildare University Announcement
Hi! First, I want to thank everyone so much for reading! I genuinely was SO nervous when I made my first post because I love this story so much, and I really wanted to find a space for it! I never ever thought that I would have so many people reading it and telling me that they love it! I literally feel like crying when I see everyone's comments and reblogs. I never in a million years thought anything I made would be this well received. That being said, I have been thinking about this to myself (I have no friends😂) and:
I CAN NOT PICK AN ENDGAME....
This story is over halfway through, and I still cannot decide who the endgame is. I thought about doing a poll or just flipping a coin because I love them both so much, but I have made a decision.
From this point forward, when there is one update to KU, there will be two. Each boy will be getting their own endgame so that you can pick who is your favorite and get the ending that each boy was going to get! I genuinely can't pick, so I have decided that I will just put in the work to not have to 😂 I will be marking each chapter with whose endgame it contributes to, and I will be making them separate parts of the masterlist to help everyone keep track of the ending they are following!
This way, if you want one specific endgame, you can read that one. Or, if you want to read both, you can do that as well! There may be some posts in each separate part that are repeats, but each story will be almost completely unique unless it is a piece that is not boy specific!
Thank you so so so so so much for the support! It really means the world to me! I can't thank each and every single one of you enough for how happy you have made me!
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AU where even after death our favourite Finwëions are being stubborn as ever so a new solution is found. Finarfin just wanted to help his grandson in law.
Fëanor and Fingolfin are being stubborn as ever
It’s been three ages, their wounds are healed, they’ve made up and understood most of their deeds
But they cannot for the life of them get along, and everyone, from Mandos to their children and people, know that if they’re released in their current state, things will go right back to how they were
Even if their people are kept in line by their kids, it’s a very explosive situation
And in all honesty, Námo feels like they’ve put poor Finarfin through enough without this addition
He can’t keep them here forever. The halls aren’t meant to be a permanent residence unless it’s by choice, and they’ve started causing chaos in here too
…but speaking of the sons of Finwë
Finarfin himself isn’t doing particularly well right now. He feels great guilt for his inaction over the last two Ages, especially as Tyelpë and Ereinion turned up with their own tales
Then of course little Celebrian
(Doesn’t matter how much everyone tells him they’d genuinely be lost without him and his actions. The Noldor especially would’ve been outcast and alone. They needed a stable ruler, not another revolutionary. And the work he’s done is more impactful than either of his brothers ever managed)
Not to mention he’s still furious at his brothers despite what he’s convinced himself of
…and misses them greatly.
Truth be told, the Valar owe him a lot.
So they offer him a choice.
Ereinion’s skilled with managing all kinds of people and people don’t have a problem with the kid, so for a time he’ll be the High King
Finarfin is overjoyed at the chance to help his granddaughter’s family. Elrond is dear to many across all factions, and his children too.
…He’s less overjoyed at the news his brothers will be joining him if he agrees.
Nevertheless desire to be of use for once wins out and he accepts.
He gets a week or so to say his goodbyes and prepare for the journey. Asking around, particularly asking the third age elves who’ve recently arrived and Celebrian most of all, gets him the clothes and supplies he needs to somewhat blend in.
They’re still his colours (though he has none) and his symbol is carefully hidden under the cloak.
And he heads to the Hall’s Opening.
“For what it’s worth, Arafinwë, I’m sorry for the additional baggage. We’ve asked much of you, but hopefully this at least will benefit us all.”
Námo is kind when he stands and opens the gates.
“I know you’ve missed them too.”
The soft whisper dissipates into the wind with the Vala and now two figures are walking out. Tall. Broad shouldered. Eyes shining with light.
Clad in their usual blue and red, weapons strapped to their backs and hips.
Fëanaro and Nolofinwë have returned at last.
Before he can say anything there’s a whirl of light and the three elves are swept away.
Aragorn did not sign up for this
A bright flash of light all but blinds him, leaving three figures in its wake.
Three very tall. Very Elven. Figures.
And if that’s not enough, they look strangely familiar. Like he should know them from somewhere.
“That damn Vala! He couldn’t have warned us!”
And now they’re speaking Quenya.
“He did. It’s not his fault you don’t listen to anyone but yourself,” the one clad in blue says viciously.
The third elf, the only one with blond hair, groaned and glared at the two others. Aragorn winced at the look, thankful he wasn’t under it, though neither of the others so much as flinched.
“You’ve been back how long?” He scoffed. “And here I thought I missed you.”
To his credit the one in blue showed some regret and bowed his head. Beside him, the red one huffed, but it was much less heated, and his hands clenched into the leaves around him.
“Forgive me, Arafinwë,” the blue one said.
Aragorn’s hand found his blade. It couldn’t be…
“Depends what you want forgiveness for, Nolo,” was the cold reply, tinged with hurt.
No way.
But it was there. The uncanny resemblance to the portraits he’d seen in his books as a young boy learning his history. This was no doubt Fingolfin, and beside him Finarfin. Which only left-
“My feud with Fëanaro has long tainted our relationship, little brother,” the blue elf- *Fingolfin* replied bitterly, glaring at the third elf. “I’d like to start again.”
“Well I’d like you two to shove your issues aside for once and try and get along!” Finarfin hissed back, and his older brother’s eyes widened. “How long will you keep fighting?! How long will you divide your people, your children! How long will you make them suffer for your egos?!”
Aragorn expected Fëanor to scowl, angrily proclaim his youngest half brother had no right to speak that way, but the elf only glared into the floor. Fingolfin stared into the trees and Finarfin turned away, eyes clouding with pain.
Only to stare right at Aragorn.
“Fëanaro, Nolo. Swords up.”
To their credit the elves immediately stood and followed Finarfin’s gaze to Aragorn. The Ranger carefully stepped into the light as the three sons of Finwë stared him down.
“It is not polite to lurk, stranger.” Fingolfin said in the common tongue and Aragorn vaguely wondered if he’d been taught it in the halls. He put his hands up, free of weapons, and lowered his hood.
“Forgive me, my lord Fingolfin. But I had to identify if you were friend of foe. You appeared in a strange manner wearing faces of old, and the enemy is skilled in his deceit.”
“You dare accuse us of being Sauron’s creations?” Fëanor’s eyes lit with a fell fire and Aragorn would have shuddered was he not accustomed to seeing much worse from his own father. Elrond could be… rather terrifying when he decided he’d had enough of his son’s’ shenanigans.
“He was being cautious,” Finarfin retorted. “Something you could learn from considering how your life ended.”
“I didn’t know what Balrogs were!”
“The great Fëanaro admitting to not knowing something, have the end of days come at last?”
“Some would say his presence here is an indicator of that,” Fingolfin muttered as Fëanor scowled at the blond. The scowl turned to him and he met it squarely. “I said what I said.”
The situation was fast unravelling and Aragorn had Nazgul on his tail. For all his training in Elrond’s house, nothing had prepared him for dealing with three Princes - Kings??? - of the Noldor at each others throats. Sending a prayer that this wouldn’t get him skewered, he whistled sharply and the three elves spun his way. He raised his hands in apology.
“Orcs and other fell beasts roam these lands, my lords. I’d advise a quieter argument?” He grimaced at the two stunned faces, wondering when it would turn to explosive anger that ended the line of Elros once and for all.
But Finarfin tilted his head, a small smile playing about his lips.
“It takes great courage to step between the arguments of the House of Finwë. What’s your name, stranger.”
The Ranger bowed his head.
“The trees have ears, my lord, I’d take you to an Elven safehaven before telling you that. But for now, you can call me Strider.”
#sorrynotsorry for another very unfinished fic 😅#I’ve had this lying around for a while and recently made it a bit more cohesive#maybe one day I’ll continue if I get the inspo and time#Fëanor#feanor#Fingolfin#nolofinwe#Finarfin#Arafinwë#Aragorn#elessar#aragorn elessar#strider#Lord of the rings#lotr fic#silmarillion#Silm#silm fic#Silm au#Lotr au#tolkien#ITHOF Writes#we love and appreciate Mandos in this house#poor guy needs a holiday and some tea#I’d go mad dealing with Elven politics and shenanigans too tbh
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- cue golden girls theme song -
you know these past few months on here have been so ugh and blah as something happened to me and a few friends that killed the fucking vibe for us. slowly but surely people’s true colors came out and i never spoke about it but some people know from experiencing it. now we’re all starting to feel like we used to before which leads me to this post bc thanksgiving and whatnot. in the mood to give thanks to you because you’re the reason I get to keep writing alex / buck / my multi.
okay so i love you all for putting up with my ass, my laziness and alex’s too because i know he is not easy to deal with:
@epihlogue & @loveindomitable / @twistedgrace / @pcrfidia & @firepiloted & @gonnabuck / @athl3tes / @shadowbrn / @forrkeeps / @gldngrrls / @leschanceux / @cfthesoul / @billyktothemax / @mecwmellc / @snnydcys — been loving you from afar so yolo you get a mention too / @dalphahale / @westwingsolo
to my mutuals who are my mutuals and nothing more: keep kicking ass. we are lowkey admiring and loving you from afar and love seeing you do your shit.
i gotta give these following people a little specific shout out because without them, i would not still be here on this blog today.
@gccdgraces — ceejay you fucking phenomenal human being you. we’ve gotten so much more closer in the past few months and tbh having you as the one to help me deal this shit with was a saving grace. you’re not only a fucking amazing writer but also a fucking amazing human being. thank you for everything. love crying over all our babies and our bookish obsession. stay cool. never change and keep being that fabulous bitch you are.
@hstoryhuh / @soulwaned — oh my dear britt britt 😉 my homie. my little partner in crime. i fucking adore you and your dogs, precious babies 🥺 thank you for everything. for the laughs, for the crying in the feels, for talking about giving me all the things and then we just vibe along. i love everything we’ve done and will keep doing.
@ssolessurvivor — oh saturn, let’s start at the beginning yeah? idk how you came across my blog but thank you for it because holy shit look at us now. a billion and one au’s with our boys and they keep on coming 😂 thank you for liking and trusting me enough to deep dive into logan and his past. not all oc’s have a defined background and information, the majority do but some don’t and that’s where things get hazy and it is so fucking hard to write with an oc when there’s barely any info for anyone to learn about but you cover any and every inch of logan’s past and future. but also thanks for letting me throw anyone at him lmao it’s been fun as hell.
@thcrealheroes — DELLA MY LOVE. my ride or die bitch. we barely write anymore but i still follow and love your ass all over the place because you cannot get rid of me 😏 i couldn’t do this and not mention you. god it feels like we’ve lived 50 lives in the time we’ve been rp-ing together. we’ve been through some shit and always find some way to share the experience, even if it doesn’t directly hit us both. lmao i fucking love you and your kids.
@kookmade — link i know that i mentioned your multi above but i had to give rafe’s blog its own little shout out because this is the blog we met and all. thank you for being my lil football homie and letting me constantly cry about taylor / alex at you. fucking love it and your muses. thank you for hearing me out as well on certain days.
i am so fucking sorry if i forgot someone. i probably did fuck me. i’m sorry if i did, i promise it’s not you. it’s my fucking brain.
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reblogging this at 2 am so my thoughts are SUPER incoherent and very offtopic and tangential, sorry about that </3
this is such a good analysis of nagi's possible backstory! and while i haven't read past the BM v MC match yet, to me this gives a lot more depth to the relationship that nagi and reo have. i might be delusional since nagi is one of my favourites and also since i don't know much about the later chapters other than a really vague direction but i think this serves as a good reminder that neither nagi nor reo are inherently 'bad' or take up an antagonistic role— they are just two boys that got too codependent and need some space away from each other to develop on their own.
i see a lot of people jump to antagonising either nagi or reo, or judge their duo as a good/bad one, but imo it's more important to view them from a more neutral lens since this isn't just about football or just about their personal lives outside of it— we can see just how much their 'personal' affects their 'field relationship' and vice versa.
from here on out i'm probably straying from the main point that OP is trying to make, so you've been warned!!!
also, if we were to assume that nagi is indeed one of the neglected to some extent kids— then i believe that chris and agi could truly have done better with how they handled nagi. it's pretty obvious that nagi is heavily dependent on reo, but instead of cutting reo out entirely they could have trained the two of them together in a way that allows them to still play together but not be completely dependent on the other. but then again i can see why this would be a much harder task to pull off because of their respective goals and their feelings towards each other (more specifically, reo's feelings towards nagi) that would definitely get in the way. like, reo is entirely capable of scoring goals on his own but he chooses not to because his main objective has always been to assist nagi— and because of this, nagi's had everything handed to him on a silver platter by reo. their formation served them well in the initial stages of blue lock but it's falling apart now, in major part because it was mostly an emotionally driven formation, which makes it a lot easier to predict especially if you're someone like isagi who knows them and their relationship.
nagi and reo are somewhat unique in that their struggles are against their own inherent natures and pasts and not because of them lacking in some sort of skill or whatever. nagi doesn't have the drive to do anything unless he has a solid goal that he wants to reach— he just won't bother putting in effort it (just like OP mentioned).
reo is willing to give nagi the attention and validation he needs; and while this was fine in the beginning, you could say he's almost starting to smother nagi now— almost mirroring the relationship reo has with his own parents, ironically enough. it's gotten to the point where reo cannot be trusted as a narrator since he let his feelings distort the words that nagi really said to him at the start of the second selection. he projected his worst fears regarding nagi and made them true in his mind. i think that reo has a problem with idolising and devoting himself to people to the point of detriment, especially to himself.
lord help me i have rambled so much about this, honestly i don't think i'm even making any sense right now. i feel like that deranged connect the dots meme man right now. somehow this all links up and makes sense in my head so i hope my disorganised addition to OPs post will somehow telepathically make sense to anyone else reading this too 🙏🙏🙏👍👍
I have this foreboding feeling that while we are prepared for Sae's and Shidou's backstory, Nagi's backstory is going to sneak from behind and punch us in the gut.
No, I don't think it's going to be straight up depression like Kaiser's, but I do think that it'll hit close to home.
You see, Nagi got Laissez-faire parents which means they never really interfered with his life. Like, these type of parents—as I have read on some websites—will basically set their child free and let them do whatever they want with no or very few rules/restrictions. They will not tell you, "Oh! You should do this!" or "Oh! You shouldn't do this!" They will simply let you figure out your life all by yourself.
I'm not an expert on this and I'm not calling this type of parenting bad in any way. Every child is different with different needs, and I'm sure there are many who grew up in this kinda family and liked this parenting method. However, I do think that Nagi didn't like it that much, and I got two reasons to think this way:
1. "That's nice."
When Reo said that his family constantly meddles in his life, Nagi's immediate reaction was, "That's nice" instead of being surprised or disgruntled. If Nagi really liked his parents NOT meddling in his life, then he should've said something like, "Really!? Sucks to be you, Reo. I can't imagine living a life like that!"
You getting me?
Also, we all know how Nagi is—he definitely feels that telling someone to do or not to do something is a hassle, so he, probably, feels that if someone is doing all this for you, then you are important for them.
And before any one says, no, I don't think Nagi was tying up his tongue thinking, "They are his parents. They wouldn't want anything bad for their own child, right? I shouldn't say anything against them and should say good things about them just to be safe." I don't think he has this kind of filter in him.
2. "Don't die ."
So, why would you not want someone to die? Of course, because you care for them and want them to be with you.
"Want"
That's really what I'm tryna highlight.
It's a pretty common knowledge that some children are just naturally more independent while others are a bit more dependent and seek guidance from the elders. Considering Nagi's first reaction to knowing about Reo's parents' meddling, I think that Kiddo!Nagi falls into the latter category—someone who likes to be guided and helped by the adults. Now, place Kiddo!Nagi with his Laissez-faire parents... You are getting where I'm going with this one?
That's why I think that Kiddo!Nagi, probably, thought that his parents didn't love him/care for him. And what happens if someone doesn't love you or care for you? Yeah, they don't care if you die which, somewhat, explains why Older!Nagi was happy to hear, "Don't die [before us (probably)]" from his parents.
I have already talked about his potential backstory before too, so it was actually when I heard he had longer bangs as a child that made my head turn to him again—something felt odd.
I understand that having long bangs is not a big deal—Niko's bangs literally cover his eyes, but having it as a kid is way different, y'know. Once you are like 12-13, you somewhat become capable of doing your own hair and clothes by yourself, so you can manage whatever aesthetics you prefer. However, for a kid younger than that, it's the parents' responsibility to look after his/her hair and clothes, and we all know that long bangs are quite bothersome—blocks our vision, sometimes stabs the eyes, and even irritatingly itches the nose.
All in all, till his backstory drops, I'd firmly believe that he was, though unintentionally, a neglected kid—at least, emotionally.
Now I can't get this image out of my head where Kiddo!Nagi is longingly staring at other kids in a park where everyone is learning things like riding a bicycle or maybe playing baseball and stuff with their parents while he is just.. there, probably, all alone.
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every day of my life i wish i was cis mainly so i could've been repressed about being gay in a simpler way
#it feels stupid but i really do feel insecure so much of the time about not having been able#to be ''properly'' repressed about being gay in a cis way#like i literally WAS still ashamed of it for while and tried to deny it#but i don't feel like it's enough#but at the same time i don't think anything would've been *enough* other than like#making it to age 40 without accepting that i'm gay#lowkey wish that i could just re-repress it for the sake of having a satisfying re-coming out#but i'm too self aware for that to be possible#man is this relatable to anyone at all or am i just fucking insane#like i really feel so much of the time like my homosexuality is only valid via my time spent not being aware of it#like it's a rite of passage specifically to have felt obligated to like girls#WHICH I LITERALLY DID!!!!!#i just still cannot help but feel like it's not enough#i want to feel the satisfaction of learning who i am all over again#so badly#like i remember the specific catharsis of realizing that i was plain gay and i miss it every day#like i hate being aware of being gay#it deprives me of the ultimate catharsis of coming to terms with it in my middle age#but it's of course impossible to just stop being aware of it#and i truly do view it as the superior way to be#i'm just. yeah idk it's a lose lose#i was born to be some tumblrina's blorbo but i'm stuck in the body of a#modern 20something#personal
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i feel like im not making any sense but does anyone else feel like there are stories that let u run with them and ones that spell everything out for you
#im reading that post that says artists are directors of audience reaction and not its dictator:#'you cannot guarantee that everyone viewing your work will react as you are trying t make them react. a good artist knows that this is what#allows work to breath. by definition you cannot have art where the viewer brings nothing to the table ... this is why you have to let go of#the urge to plainly state in text exactly how you think the work should be interpreted ... its better to be misinterpreted sometimes than#to talk down to your audience. you wont even gain any control that way; people will still develop their opinions no matter what you do#im thinking abt this again cuz i was thinking maybe the thing that lets adventure time work so well the way it does is cuz it doesnt#take itself too seriously that it gives the audience enough room to fuck with subtext and then fuck with them back yknow. i think it was#mentioned somewhere that they werent even planning to run with the postapocalyptic elements that are hinted in the show but changed their#mind after the one off with the frozen businessmen and dominoed into marcy and simons backstory. on the other side there are stories that#explain too much to let the story speak for itself and i think it ends up having to do more with the crew trying to lead ppl in a certain#direction than expand on what they have and i see a lot of this with miraculous. like when interviews and tweets are used as word of god in#arguments and it becomes a little stifling to play around with it knowing the creator can just interject. u can say its the crews effort to#engage with its audience but it feels more like micromanaging. and none of this is to say there ISNT room for stories that spell things out#theyre just suited for different things. if sesame street tried abstract approaches to themes and nuance itd be counterproductive#a lot of things fly over my head so i need help picking things apart to get it- but it doesnt have to be from the story itself. ive picked#picked up or built on my own interpretations listening to other ppl share their thoughts which creates conversation around the same thing#sometimes stories will spell things out for you without being so obvious abt it that it feels like its woven into the text. my fav example#for this might be ATLA using younger characters as its main cast but instead of feeling like its dumbed down for kids to understand why war#is bad its framed from a childs point of view so younger audiences can pick up on it by relating to the characters. maybe an 8 year old#wont get how geopolitics works but at least they get 'hey the world is a little more complicated than everyone vs. fire nation'. same for#steven universe bc its like theyre trying to describe and put feelings into words that kids might not have so they have smth to start with#especially with the metaphors around relationships bc even if it looks unfamiliar as a kid now maybe the hope is for it to be smth you can#look back to. thats why it feels like these shows grew up with me.. instead of saving difficult topics for 'when im ready for it'#as if its preparing me for high school it gave me smth to turn in my hands and revisit again and again as i grow. stories that never#treated u as dumb all along. just someone who could learn and come back to it as many times as u need to. i loved SU for the longest time#but i felt guilty for enjoying it hearing the way ppl bash it. bc i was a kid and thought other ppl understood it better than me and made#feel bad for leaning into the message of paying forward kindness and not questioning why steven didnt punish the diamonds or hold them#accountable. but im rewatching it now and going oh. i still love this show and what it was trying to teach me#yapping#diary
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went to post this on twitter but i didnt wanna get banned . crazy that u can scrape my entire lifes work and i cant even tell u to die over it <3
#im just so ........#grips fists#i feel Helpless#i hate feeling like the people i know are receding further and further Away from art communities and the public because its so#painful right now#to be posting art :(#it just IS.#and to the motherfuckers in Toyhouse doing this like... i cannot stress enough how much if u called me rn i would tell u to die 2 ur face#i just... cant pretend like im Okay with u being anywhere Near the same space as me anymore <3#there are people i Hate on an individual level and#i still want to see them eat. just not at my table#but to everyone who Scrapes Art. I want you to Die <3 ....#you value having pretty little image and serving yourself over the grief of millions of artists#to the point where you break into Our spaces where we trust that we're at least safe from *you* motherfuckers#and take Even More ...#youre fucking#selfish and greedy#truly an embodiment of every fucking sin#unable to fucking Help Yourself ?#imagine if all of these people were like. contributing to society.or. idk. DRAWING#the Waste it generates stresses me out to no fucking end too#like you will literally harm the entire human race for Yourself#i Hate you . I Hate you so Wholly#I hate Everything you are and Everything you have done to me and Everything you have done to my community and my peers#yeah. i want you to Die. The same way i want a politician to die.#no human Deserves death <3 but i still want you to <3#annnyyywaayyyyyss#i wont tag this as my art LMFAO its basically a fucking#vent post#i just HAD to get my feelings out cuz genuinely every time i talk about this with my friends it
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Bellara lowkey pissing me off with all this feeling guilty bs
#vague spoilers in the tags so dont read em if you havent played yet#but feeling like the elves need to apologize for this shit?#are you KIDDING ME#genuinely fuck that#out of everyone in Thedas the elves got screwed over the most (arguably) and she wants us to APOLOGIZE?#like first of all theyre not our 'gods' so lets just put a stop to that entire rhetoric immediately#they betrayed their own people. ELVES.#and then Mythal's actions led to everything else that followed#including humans even further fucking over elves#so what exactly are the elves meant to apologize for?#Sorry for being so enslaved & betrayed by literally everyone so hard that it ruined the world for all of us?#yeah fucking SORRY I GUESS.#anyway she better cut that shit out i dont wanna hear such nonsense again#elves are gonna have enough bs to deal with im sure after all this is over#dont need to add pressure of feeling like the elves OWE something to the modern world who would rather just see them extinct#i cannot overstate how furious that sentiment makes me#meanwhile neve pissing me off too over here like ''i dont expect you to care about dock town''#okay fuck you too?#Treviso literally had no one#Minrathous had the shadow dragons#and not to put too fine a damn point on it#but (naturally) im playing as an elf#and not that i LIKE the idea of the Venatori seizing control#but just like super honestly in the grand scheme of things#i have no love for Minrathous.#and yet still have i not been willing to help? but she doesnt want to talk about that.#she claims to understand that i had to make an impossible choice and yet still she punishes me for it.#THE FACT SHE WONT HEAL ME IN BATTLE IS WILD BTW#anyway. thanks for coming to my ted talk#things are going much better with the other companions
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ohhhhmygod im gonna be sick. actually nauseous and i did it to myself - there was a spider on the countertop and i Panicked, grabbing the first distance-killer i could grab. it was a grease cleaner spray. i buried it in the stuff, walked away to recover mentally, came back
it fucking fell apart and dissolved into the cleaner. i both feel horrible and im disgusted beyond words. how the fuck do i get rid of it
#slamming my face into a wall repeatedly#i cant leave it there to deal with after Sleep#bc my cats like to go onto the countertops when no one is looking#and i dont want either of them to get poisoned#but i cant rinse it into the sink with the faucet hose bc there's stuff in the sink#but idk if i can bring myself to do dishes with That next to me#and my fear of spiders is so intense that i Cannot get close enough to take care of it with a towel or somethin#im very good at fucking myself over in various ways!#if i had an appetite id lose it. permanently#what if! instead of dealing with it! i curl up in a corner and cry#except im not gonna do that ive filled my tears quota for the year & doing nothing wont help anything#sorry for venting again i just. ohhhhh this is horrible this is Terrible#if i still had my whacking stick id tape a big wad of paper towels to the end and clean the mess up that way#from a Distance!#absolutely unprompted#i wish i wasnt so terrified of spiders#they scare me So much....#the point of feeling physically ill! and like sobbing! or panicking! and this spider was Big!#i wish they'd stop coming into the house.... i hate killing them but i cant function knowing theyre there#but i can't force myself close enough to put them in a cup and bring them outside#so now i have THAT on my counter. disintegrated spider.#life is too fucking much lately... jesus.... i should really just bite the bullet and get this shit over with#no use waiting a month in perpetual terror unease and guilt. do it scared yk yk#im tired of my chest hurting and not being able to eat! i dont like it! i need change! terrifying horrible change!
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the amount of effort that goes into figuring out what to cook and eat every day is RIDICULOUS. i used to think people were so weird and boring for eating the same thing every single day but it truly does make life so much easier
#and also it's nice to know exactly what your food is going to taste like before you eat it#like when i get unfamiliar takeout. half the time i'm like. oh.#i'm going to have to eat all of this. or be judged.#so i just do my best to suppress my gag reflex and Get Through It and then it makes me sick so what was even the point#i think my parents spoiled me. and the most annoying thing is they're significantly better at cooking now than when i was a child#so when i go over i eat three delicious home cooked meals + snacks and they're all different and amazingggg#and then i come back to texas and i am like. googling 'how to feed myself healthy vegetarian'#because I do NOT have the time or money or energy to cook three beautiful delicious meals Just For Me#i think this would be easier with a partner#this whole week i bought a fuckton of mediterranean groceries and i have been making and eating food!!#mediterranean is close enough to indian that i like it well enough#unfortunately for me. i am def going to have to learn how to cook indian food to get through life. because i cannot fucking eat american#i don't know HOW you guys do it i'm so spoiled#i'm assuming meat is this really amazing wonderful thing that just adds flavor to everything#(it is physically repulsive to me and the couple times ive accidentally tasted it it's bleh so i refuse to partake)#i think it's an acquired taste but it magically makes ur food better. that is my understanding of how meat works#cause american vegetarian food is the saddest fucking thing i've ever tasted#i still think about my coworker i was talking to about my food issues and he was like. 'do u understand that you have been given a gift#by having constant access to tasty food your entire life. i ate unseasoned green beans every day of my childhood. learn how to fucking cook#indian food already.' truly a horrific thing to hear. but i'm calling my parents more and going HOW TO COOK VEGETABLE? BEAN? PLEASE HELP??#and by god i am not going to turn into my coworker.#anyways we start with baby steps. lentils and rice it is next week .-. going to the indian store to buy pickles to make it more tolerable#and i have my cabinet full of spices already at least#i wish i was less pickyyy#sometimes lalita cooks indian food for me and i'm like wow. i love and appreciate u for feeding me. but this sure is south indian food#i don't understand How they use spices. it feels like they toss as much of as many bottles as they can into every dish#and it's. the taste is just OW OW OW and nothing else. where's the nuance. the flavor.#and i like it when things are spicy!! i can even eat things where the flavor is just Hot. but not when she cooks it.#she will like watch my face when i take a bite and then go 'if you don't like it i'm throwing away all my pots and running away'#which. honestly a fair reaction. the problem is that i am incapable of lying
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friends, Id love to plug in my Ko Fi while I try to sort things out and take care of myself through this sensitive period. I’m determined to keep pushing some work to cover for the medical expenses but any passive income on the sidelines while Im letting my body rest will be a huge help ;; If you enjoy my artwork shenanigans and wanna share some support, feel free to toss a coin or two?
For any fandom folk that would want to see more art of your favorite blorbo’s, any donations over 30$ will be rewarded with some more art of whichever blorbo we’re hyping over together, I cant promise something too big but i want to leave some fun options for those who would like to receive some goodies in return ;;
Thank you for everyone who pitches in, as well as for those who cannot afford to and just opt to share this post around - I’m just glad I can have this space with you where art can carry and support us through as both artist and audience ♥
#it still feels a tad uneasy reaching out to plug my kofi like this...I know its the same stubborn spirit that insists i do everything#on my own again but i need to gently shoo it away and just...let this support in ;;#i cannot thank the artist community enough for encouraging me and taking care of one another when we cannot pull through on our own...#i want to be able to get back to pursuing my fulltime art routine so much#but for now i have to be considerate of my body again and prioratize further recovery#ill leave this post up for awhile until ill be able to carry on my own again#once again thank you so so so much for everyone who helps out be it by donating or sharing this around#Ronkey posts
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I need to draw Booigi real soon, the lack of them is making me itchy
#kelperambles#uhhh pic is unrelated but I thought the paper luigi was cute 💖#anyways I just wanted to ramble about how much I love booigi LMAO#but like I need the very specific type of booigi that has been rotting in my brain in order to be satisfied#OKAY OKAY. picture this: Names are such an important thing to Luigi. Many people don’t tend to remember the bare minimum about him#so he really appreciates the few people who take enough time to remember his actual name or small things about him#then when King Boo pulls up he’s literally yelling Luigi’s name and cursing him out#sure while Luigi is still scared of him he can’t help but feel flattered that King Boo subconsciously respects him enough to call him Luigi#not green mario. not the man in green. just him…truly him.#and while Luigi might not want an designated enemy (like what Mario and bowser have)#the fact that king boo believes that Luigi is significant enough to be his enemy is something Luigi cannot ignore#King Boo acknowledges Luigi for his strengths in his weird theater kid way#but I can really see them growing closer together once Luigi discovers that King Boos plays everything up just to be DRAMATIC ✨✨#king boo WANTS luigi to react. and if he doesn’t get that he more or less just lets go of the act#like what’s the point of setting everything up if Luigi’s not even going to match his high energy?#honestly they just need to both RELAX for a second and they would really hit it off#it’s actually embarrassing. they’re so embarrassing.
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it's kind of weird to me that they didn't bother releasing sushi and tempura internationally at all but at the same time i'm kinda glad they didn't cuz like. yo-kai watch was financially failing in the west by the time 3 released. i feel like if they had released sushi and tempura the franchise would've completely tanked before we got sukiyaki which would've sucked. honestly if anything i feel like it's more surprising that we got all three versions of 2 instead of them just releasing psychic specters but tbf i think yo-kai watch was doing well in the west when 2 released. 2 is just inexplicably what killed the franchise despite being a masterpiece-
#puppy rambles#yo-kai watch#yw3#yw2#idk. i have a lot of thoughts on this stuff#still upset i didn't find out 3 released in america until a while after it did :/ could've gotten a physical copy if i'd found out earlier#but alas. i'm just stuck with a boring digital version. i mean the digital versions of yo-kai watch games are better but like. still#i never got maginyan in blasters even though i could've. the code or whatever was on the receipt but my mom bought it for me#from the nintendo website. and i don't think she checked it and i don't think i found out that was where it was until a bit after i got it-#i did get machonyan and jibanyan t/komasan t's codes entered though so i can get them on any playthrough now#unless i put the sd card in another 3ds since apparently it's system-based instead of sd card based??? which is really stupid#but you can probably bypass that with cfw and i do plan on modding my 3ds eventually#it'll just be a process cuz i don't have an sd card slot on my computer and idk if my moms would be willing to help#so i'll probably have to get a separate sd card reader or whatever. which i do think my moms would be okay with i mean#it's my system and they're cool with piracy lfskdjfjkfsdkljfd-#my moms are so cool <3 i just wish i could get them interested in yo-kai watch but they don't seem to care lfskdjfkjsfdjlksfd-#they determined the battle system doesn't sound fun but i might've just described it badly#i mean tbf. it is very annoying sometimes. especially when my healer just will not heal the other yo-kai#''DO YOUR FUCKING JOB TATTLECAST STOP LOAFING'' -me playing 2#that being said if 1's switch port ever releases in america i am totally playing it on the tv#i WILL force my moms to watch me play funni ghost game whether they like it or not /lh#if we do ever get 1's switch port i hope they make it a collection of some kind with 2 and 3 remasters too i would buy that in a heartbeat#i mean obviously i will buy any american-released yo-kai watch stuff in a heartbeat aside from maaaaaybe y-school heroes#(i'm sorry y-school heroes fans i just cannot get into it. from concept alone it sounds like i would not enjoy it)#maybe sangokushi too if we ever get that but i feel like we probably won't#idk if the franchise it's a crossover with is popular enough in america for that#i hope we get more english yo-kai watch content once ghost craft releases. kinda feel like it's testing the waters tbh#i know it's seemingly just a spiritual successor but still#i do hope that it being a spiritual successor doesn't mean yo-kai watch is over. i doubt that it will since like#punipuni still gets semi-frequent updates
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